5 Behaviors that can keep you from achieving more

After being in business for awhile you start to notice behavioral patterns that work and some that don’t. Before I started my current business I ran a traditional Brick & Mortar business with employees, staff, vendors, and the whole traditional business model. What I have noticed is that regardless of the business model or the social setting the behavior people engage in is paramount to the overall success of both themselves, and others. Now working in the coaching and consulting space I have come to appreciate even more how imperative it is for those seeking after success to be proactive in understanding and controlling behaviors that are counter productive to their own objectives and goals. In thinking back over the past 8 years and thousands of clients I’ve worked with I have isolated what I would consider the top 5 self-defeating behaviors that tend to trip some up from achieving their entrepreneurial, personal, and professional objectives.

This is the number #1 problem that continues to haunt people in both their personal and professional life. Based on your personality makeup you are either bringing in information from a sensory function or an intuitive function. If you are the sensor type that prefers looking for hard facts, details, concrete evidence, and empirical data within the here and now, then this is how you perceive the world and absorb information. If you are an intuitive perceiver then you are looking more for the big picture, the possibilities, the future potential, and a common denominator on how everything works together. These are the two ways in which the human mind is designed to gather and perceive information.

The interesting thing about stress is that it reverses this function in people when they are experiencing stress. So if you are typically a person who looks for detailed data in the here and now you are no longer perceiving this and only seeing the big picture and future possibilities. The opposite is true if you are a big picture person. Under stress you will begin to only to see the finite details of the here and now and lose site of the greater perspective. The ideal situation is to be able to function well from both perspectives, however the problem with stress is it enhances the downside to each perspective and diminishes the positive of each perspective. The results of this phenomenon called “under the grip” is you can not perceive information clearly and therefore are never in a position to make the most optimum decision. This condition brought on by stress will also reverse your decision making functions as well.

Based on your psychological make up you either tend to make decision based in cold hard facts separated by any empathy felt toward those affected by the decision, or you to tend to decide based on an over arching value system and empathy as a primary motivation in the decision. When being “under the grip” of stress a person will reverse these internal natural tendencies. The results from this state of mind is you perceive reality poorly. You then make decision on that tainted perspective in a state you normally do not function in which is a recipe for disaster.

The greatest skillset a person can develop is having enough self-awareness of their current state to fight the temptation of making any decisions at that moment. Stress is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to be the cause of bad decisions if managed properly.

I did a training over a year ago about expectations and how it has a great impact on how a person will perform, achieve, and experience things within their daily life. You can see that training by clicking here.

The ability to manage both your expectations, your clients expectations, and your teams expectations will go a long way in creating a culture of success needed to reach new levels. Set expectations too low and you will slowly find yourself mired in the muck of apathy. Setting expectations too high can result in creating a perpetual environment of aggravation, frustration, and eventual mistrust.

One of the lessons I learned early on in “selling opportunity” as a business coach is managing expectations is imperative to my overall enjoyment in helping others, and their ability to achieve. Amazingly to me I would early on have new clients onboard with me that would become quickly agitated within just a few days because they were not immediately successful. What I learned was in my presenting all of the amazing possibilities to achieve more, and in seeing me demonstrate how I was reaching my goals, an expectation of overnight success was being inferred by some. While this was never the intended implication I quickly learned how some were looking for a “magic pill” and I needed to be overtly blunt on setting their expectations.

The varying ranges of expectations is in every facet of life. Whether in the board room or in the living room, expectations have a profound affect on relationships. Never assume others naturally “get” what you intend to do, can do, want to do, or willing to do. I make it a habit to communicate my intentions in at least 3 different mediums if at all possible in business and at least 2 in personal life. Also never assume what you can expect of others. Communicate clearly what you expect upfront. This will save a ton of heartache, frustration, and help preserve meaningful relationships in the long run.

 

It is amazing to me how people will pour their life into starting a business, getting a degree, pursuing a goal, or achieving an objective only to forget about why they started it to begin with. What good is a high paying job if you never have the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor? When you decided to pursue that dream or goal who did you have in mind? Who was going to benefit from taking this extra responsibility? Staying focused on your why will be your greatest deterrent from distractions and discouragement.

Focus is something that many entrepreneurs struggle with. The ability to see possibilities and potential opportunities is a great asset, but it also can be a huge obstacle for achievement. Have you ever seen someone who is always working on the next great thing. I read a statistic once that said that biz and opportunity seekers tend to get involved in 3-4 different businesses a year, and 98% of them never realize success. After being in the opportunity space now for 8 years I can tell you that most people have a tendency to quit way too soon. The idea of financial freedom is intoxicating for many, but the discipline to make it a reality is often a huge deterrent. This one fact was a huge motivation in designing our system the way we have. I’m very proud of our retention rate and work hard to maintain it as well.

 

No one likes confrontation or tough meetings, and lord help you if you have a hundred emails waiting on you each day when you get to the office. However difficulties are nothing more than opportunities. Yes they are opportunities that are wrapped in conflict, controversy, and clashes of personalities, plans, and priorities. Yet in each instance you are presented the chance to make strategic change to improve. To maximize the benefit that improvement brings you must be at your best and in your highest state of alertness. This means that your hard things must always be done first.

So many times because of the dread of what the difficulty could possibly bring we are challenged to put them off. Let’s wait to the end of the day when we are about to leave is the typical mode of operandi by most. However this means when you are finally tackling the issue you are at your weakest emotionally, physically, and creatively. If you want to see problems turn into a path to something better then they must be the first thing you tackle.

I typically will always tell someone who is bringing an issue, a conflict, or drama that it can be discussed and then will find the next available time I have in the next or coming days. My worst decisions and handling of personal and professional issues have always been when I tried to handle them when I am at my weakest in a given day. Always leave the easier stuff for the end of the day. This will also help you transition from professional to personal time easier. The last thing you want to do is leave the office aggravated to go home and try to offer you best self to ones at home.

 

“Winning is a habit and so is losing.” I heard a basketball coach say this to his team one year and it didn’t really make sense to me at the time. Now years later working with people who are wanting to make a change in their career, personal life, and professional life I so get it. One thing that will always clear the path for a loss is the justification and rationalization of why the loss is inevitable. In relationships it shows up in catch phrases that sound good, but are so void of truth when in the wrong context:

You will hear people in business say:

The fact of the matter when we are faced with a challenge it is human nature to try and find the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance is always blaming others, and avoiding personal responsibility. Political rhetoric has conditioned the entire US electorate in the past 40 years to blame others. If you are poor it’s the rich peoples fault, and if you are rich it’s governments fault you can’t grow anymore.

The fact is there are two types of people in the world. Those who do and those who offer an excuse for don’t. While a well thought out, heart felt justification for a disappointment may feel good in the moment, it ultimately will always lead to dissolution and perpetual defeat. What defines a winner from a loser is the reaction. Life is happening to everyone, but how do you react?